2 Years!

2 years sober today!

I often take time to reflect, because I believe it is important to be accountable and work to better myself daily. I never want to completely lose sight of how horrible my life would be if I decided to pick up a drink again. Still, I don't dwell on the person who I was when I drank, because the farther away I get from that time, the less I recognize that person. So much of my life was spent being careless and selfish and disconnected, as I tried to escape or dull out any bit of pain or anxiety or stress. I look back at the lowest points and wonder how I survived. In fact, I know there were times that I didn't want to. Thankfully, God had other plans for me. Making the decision to get sober has been such a gift.

For two years I've been breaking free from the shame, guilt, sadness, and isolation that alcohol addiction brings. I wake up every morning with a clear head and bright eyes, instead of a hangover and a fuzzy memory. I embrace all the feelings that I used to dull and run away from, and can be fully present in all areas of my life. I've put healthy boundaries up EVERY DAMN WHERE and have my priorities in check. My circle of friends has gotten smaller, but has increased tremendously in value. I love who I am and love the people in my life who make me strive to be a better human. Is this way of life easy? Not by a long shot…but if you know me, you know I like a challenge and you also know that I've never been happier, more at peace, or more grateful to be alive.

Without a doubt, this is the truth I have come to know: My VERY WORST DAY sober, is still INFINITELY better than my best day was when I was drunk. For that I'm unbelievably thankful. Happy 2 years to me!

© 2020 by Emily Lynn Paulson

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